Persevering Through the Valley

The valleys were deep again this week as I do the painful yet necessary work of grief. Having Ted in my life was such a huge and wonderful blessing, so it is going to be a mountain of work to reshape a life without him.

You only get perseverance from what you persevere through.

I know that the testing of our faith produces perseverance and we need to let it finish its work so that we are not lacking anything. So, I remember that even now, though I can't always see or feel it, God is in the middle of a good work. That's His nature. He drenches us in His unfailing love and He works all things together for good for those who love Him. It encourages me to persevere with Him.

With so much to do and much more on the horizon, I started believing that the harder and faster I work, the sooner I can simplify my life. But, I realized that this strategy has put many things in motion that have complicated my life rather than bringing the simplicity I so desire.

This week, in the middle of a big valley, my grief counselor suggested I take a six-week "vacation" from thinking about the rentals and just let things unfold. That way I can focus on the holidays and be more free to enjoy the moments with family and friends, and to take care of myself. I love that idea and the "permission" she gave me to do that.

After all, God is in control anyway, so it really is surrendering to Him and not trying to do it all myself. Wait a minute... when did I revert to thinking it was up to me? God has been so very faithful in showing me that when I abide, He provides. I have many, many examples of Him providing daily manna in my life. My part is to focus on today and to just walk with Him.

Even when things seem long, dark or bleak, His great grace finds me. We always have HOPE in the Lord Our God! According to C.S. Lewis, "If we can praise and worship Him in the midst of trouble, pain or loss, that is what pleases Him the most."

So, Lord, I'm breathing in your grace, and breathing out your praise... I'm breathing in your grace, and breathing out your praise.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, still I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior (Hab. 3:17-18). All praise to our great God!

Don't Quit!

The road was so long and bumpy, so painstakingly slow, it made me want to quit. I was hurting and all I could see ahead was more hurt!

That is how I felt -- often -- over the last ten months of working my arm back into condition after an injury. But I'm so glad I didn't quit, because I would have never known what was beyond.

In May, I wrote about being stretched. I'd had many painful appointments with a physical therapist and lots of diligent hours of exercise on my own. With little improvement, my doctor ordered an MRI which revealed a torn rotator cuff. He referred me to a surgeon who warned that it would be a long and arduous recovery: about six months more of this stretching and rehab would be expected after the surgery.

How would I go without my right hand for that long? I prayed God would give me the grace and strength I needed for the dreaded road ahead. To allow faster healing after the surgery, we were taught some exercises to improve my range of motion that Ted was to help me with.

But then, Ted became acutely ill in June, and it put everything on the back burner. I tried to do my stretches, but I was too distracted to do them consistently. So, for a few more months, my arm ached and my left arm continued compensating.

When Ted's health improved enough that he could help again, we faithfully did the painful stretching exercises with new grit and determination. We'd already been through a lot, so we could climb this mountain too, we said. It was hard to stay patient when day after day we saw no improvement and every exercise made me want to cry and quit.

Finally, how rejuvenating it was to start seeing progress a couple weeks ago! The pinched, achy muscles began to loosen up, a bit at a time. I can once again reach above my head, put on a jacket, tuck in my shirt and sleep on that side, without much pain at all. (I think it is yet another way God is teaching me patience.)

In my last post I told of our joy when we went canoeing last weekend... What sweet victory that was having both Ted and I healed to the point of lifting our 65-pound canoe on top of the car together! And with the nearly full range of motion I'm regaining, I have successfully avoided surgery! Yeah!

What if I would have given up too early? I would have never known the victory. It certainly would have meant more pain. I wonder if we quit too early with other things in life, instead of persevering in prayer?

God, you are good and you've surprised me again with your wonderful blessings. When we think we can't do it any longer, Lord, help us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. (Heb.12:1 NIV) Help us to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. (Rom. 12:12 NIV)

We Do Not Lose Heart

Several of my work friends are losing their jobs of many years. Names are missing, cubes are cleared out, e-mails bounce back.

Others close to me are missing loved ones. The memory of their loss pierces their hearts each day. Will the pain ever go away?

Many in my church ask for prayers over serious health issues, overwhelming finances or complicated relationships. My prayer list is growing. There is suffering everywhere.

And then there is Haiti.

These poor souls have suffered their whole lives -- but we hear stories of these beautiful, victorious people who have not lost hope:

• A man searched through wreckage and debris every day for his wife until he found her.
  
• His wife, who survived a week under rubble, praised God and sang as she emerged into the light of day again.
  
• A young man pinned under a fallen building for 14 days survived by rationing a jug of water and was rescued just hours after his supply ran out.
  
• A doctor reported that hundreds of hungry, terrified, grieving, hurting people waited so patiently in long lines to be treated for life-threatening injuries -- without a single security incident.
• A 66-year-old widow and a 12-year-old boy who had just lost their entire families decided to become a team -- a new family -- saying, "God will provide. In fact, He already has"...

I remember that suffering is not new; the Bible gives many examples. We can relate to what Paul wrote: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Cor. 4:8-9, but read the chapter for the full encouragement...)

We must not forget that God is with us through it all. Just think, He is with all of His suffering children at once! He is sovereign. We do not understand, but we do know God is the One who can call light out of darkness.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Cor. 4:16-18 NIV)

Thank you, Lord, for role models with strong faith -- strengthened, no doubt, by suffering and walking along, trusting in You no matter what. Oh, give them strength!