Stepping into a lifelong dream

As I listen for God’s direction in my life, He often stretches me to a point it is not comfortable, but He knows it is for my good.

This happened to me in 2009. As I sat in an audience in Chilton, WI, I felt the prompting to offer myself as a speaker for the next year’s event. Whoa. Me? No way. I’m happy doing the behind-the-scenes work and being able to edit before I make things public. But I sensed a persistence that wasn’t my own, so I knew I was answering the Holy Spirit. As soon as I made the commitment, I felt such peace. (I’ve found that the feelings often come after.)

Then, for several months, I excitedly prepared for that engagement, gleaning all the best I could share with the audience and distilling it down to the right size again. Gleaning and distilling, gleaning and distilling. I lived and breathed for that upcoming presentation. I think I was so excited because it was something I knew I needed to do. Not of my own making, but something God wanted me to do.

Flash forward and I have now done that for several years. And, guess what? That same process of gleaning and distilling is what I recently used to write a book. Yes! I have wanted to almost all my life! God was preparing me and giving me practice and I didn't even know it. By taking that step of obedience then, I was one step closer to accomplishing a lifelong dream.

After Ted went to be with the Lord on May 2, 2013, my unfinished business of writing a book was calling to me. I did the hard work of grief for several months, then I started on the book in June 2014. I made myself a goal of writing at least 50 words a day, every day, so that I could work it into my already-full schedule. They were baby steps, but I was consistently inching forward.

Now, 21 months later, I am thrilled to have a manuscript that will soon become a book! How can I even express how excited and fulfilled I am to be in this place? In the process of writing and learning what to do next, God gave me purpose and brought healing. I began the project weeping and completed it rejoicing!

There have been (and still are) many steps along the way that are intimidating. I have never done this. It’s exciting and scary at the same time, and many excuses and doubts have crossed my mind. But I put aside those fears and step out in faith.

As I look back, I see how God has provided everything I’ve needed, exactly when I’ve needed it. (In fact, that's what the book is about.) Many wonderful people have shared their knowledge and encouraged me along the way. By following Him, one baby step and then another, I’m abiding on the Vine, and He is bringing a huge project to fruition.

I will once again be speaking at the Women’s Breakaway, on April 9, and hope to have the printed books in hand. Zach Westerman (my son) designed the cover.


Thank you, thank you, thank you, dear God! ... for knowing I needed a push, and for knowing everything I've needed along the way. It’s a tremendous blessing to step into a lifelong dream.

Do you have a baby step you know you need to take? 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Choosing to Walk by Faith

Inevitably, something comes into my life that wants to draw every spare moment of my attention -- a concern that grows, a problem that consumes, a situation that overwhelms. “Oh God, I’m in WAY over my head,” I say.

The temptation is to want to fix it -- and fix it quickly -- to have peace and order again. So I roll it around and around in my brain, thinking of how I can resolve this issue and restore my life to its former comfort level. In reality, I’m reinforcing the negative as I stress over figuring it out.

I recognize this is an opportunity for the enemy to say, “You need to focus on this. This could go wrong or that could be coming down the road and you need to stay ahead of it. Be ready. It could get worse.”

All the while God is saying, “You’re not alone. I am with you always. I would never leave you or forget you. I have everything under control. Just look to me. This is not YOUR project, but an opportunity to let ME work through you. I am orchestrating everything together for good. Watch and see. I will provide what you need at the very time you need it. Keep your eyes on me.”

So, despite the emotions that sometimes get in my way, I choose to walk by faith, even in the shades of gray, in the waiting time when I don’t know how things will turn out. That’s what faith is after all -- trusting God implicitly, knowing that He knows best and His timing is best.

My job is to keep my attention focused on Him, listening for His direction on what my role is, and then being courageous and obedient in following the last thing I heard Him impress upon me. This is abiding in Jesus. It is where I need to be and where I need to stay. It is where I will bear fruit.

“I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see…”

Thank you, dear Lord, for your ever-present goodness, for your wisdom and sovereignty. There is nothing too difficult for you. Greater is He who is in me than He who is in the world. I have everything I need when I abide in you.

For more encouragement, listen to “Walk by Faith” by Jeremy Camp and “He is Greater” by Mercy Me.

Time for Big Faith

Big things are happening in our lives, and big things require big faith! Just when we thought the finish line was in sight from the last chemo treatment plan, we are standing at the onramp of another chemo marathon. So many risks, so many unknowns. We were shaken to the core.

But, God is in control, we know. I remember what He has already brought us through!

The Gospels are full of stories of those with big faith -- the centurion who trusted Jesus to heal with authority, the woman who touched the hem of His garment, the men who brought Jesus a paralyzed man on a mat. I read how He healed many, He cast out demons and calmed the waves. Sum it up, I said to myself. He's all powerful and He beats incredible odds!

But, He does require a big faith. The cost to follow Jesus can be great. We are asked to put aside our expectations, comforts and most of all -- our fears! We cannot cling to fear and walk with God at the same time. We cannot "hole up" in a secure place and wait things out. No, we must press on through the storm, step by step with Him... Abiding in the One who has power over all!

God, I see that if we look at the rocks in the road or the long road ahead, we will be overwhelmed. If we look at the wind and the waves, we start sinking. No, we must keep our eyes on you and follow you with a big faith. Strengthen our faith for this journey ahead.

Joyful in the Wait

When I read the book of Habakkuk recently, I realized what a man of faith he was. Though he heard earth-shattering news, he stood in awe of God and trusted Him to bring about His just and good plan. Habakkuk could be joyful in hope even when he only saw doom and gloom. (Read his short inspirational story.)

The prophet at first pleaded with the Lord, "Why aren't you doing something?" Then, when he realized that God had a plan and was working, he was humbled and awed. He was encouraged in the wait.

How I need to remember that in my life! When the waiting gets long, I will remember that one day "the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea." (2:14)

And even though I don't see things happening, I can know the Lord is at work. "Though the fig tree does not bud... the olive crop fails... there are no sheep in the pen... yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God, my Savior." (2:17-18)

God wants us to be joyful in the wait. That is the mark of our faith. "The righteous will live by his faith." (2:4) We all have things we are waiting for. The wait is what draws us close to God and we realize our dependence on Him. The waiting actually becomes a blessing.

If I live by faith, I am sure of what I hope for. When my desires are like God's, they are as good as done. They will surely come to pass -- but in God's time, not mine. I can live in faith and joy because God's plan is the best. He gives the ultimate. He won't settle for the lesser things for us -- His love is too great!

What are you "waiting" for? Can you have joy while you wait?

Oh Lord, thank you for your goodness, your graciousness, your love and mercy. Why does doubt ever even cross my mind? I will be strong and take heart as I wait for you, Lord!

The book of Habakkuk is a short little ancient book, but it answers some of the timeless and major questions of life.

Are You Growing Tenacious Roots?

Tenacious roots.

How can I ever forget what a miracle it was that Ted survived the wild roller coaster ride of medical issues last summer! Our church, friends and doctors are always amazed to see him looking so healthy and doing almost everything he did before the illness and surgeries. (Even his hair has grown back thicker and curlier than ever -- a visual reminder to all of what God has done.)

Remembering the toughest struggles, we had no other comfort than to send down tenacious roots, putting our total trust in God. We recall the unbelievable feeling of being wrapped in God's love, and fully relying on His loving guidance that made the next step possible. We were truly abiding in Him.

Ted and I would never want to repeat those events, but we also never want to forget them. We were lifted by the power of prayer in a rich and loving community of friends (thank you!) and the awesome way God worked as we held tightly to Him. Our perspective is so much richer, and we could not have gotten here another way. We want to steward this experience and never miss an opportunity to share that it is very possible to have God's perfect peace even when your world is spinning out of control around you.

Now whenever I struggle (usually with lesser things), I practice drawing on that same powerful strength, remembering that God is loving and strengthening me as powerfully as last summer.

I'll be sharing my journey of faith at the Women's Breakaway on April 14 in a breakout session called "Sending Down Deeper Roots." Please pray for me to let His words flow through me to minister to others who are hurting. 

Dear God, our Rock and Refuge in ALL of life, thank you for your faithfulness and truly amazing love. By the experience you gave us, help us help others to grow tenacious roots.

It was majestic in beauty, 
with its spreading boughs, 
for its roots went down 
to abundant waters. 
(Ezek. 31:7 NIV)

We Don't Mourn

...like those who have no hope. (1 Thes. 4:13)

This was a key line in an incredible book I've just read. It cracked open the door of my soul a bit wider than ever before, and stretched me in a new way.

In 2002, I was fascinated by a story on a radio program as I drove a short distance to a meeting. It was the voice of a missionary sharing her extraordinary experiences in a prison camp. Though her Bible had been taken away, she recalled scripture learned as a young girl and sang hymns to keep her sanity. In her heart she knew God was saying, "My grace is sufficient." Her faith was incredibly strong under horrible circumstances. God answered her prayers with such abundance.

The fragment of her story that I heard has truly inspired me these past eight years. To my delight, a few weeks ago I was finally able to identify the author and the book: Darlene Deibler Rose and Evidence Not Seen.

The rest of her story was equally gripping and I devoured it in less than a week. The book chronicles about eight years, from a young married woman excited about starting their mission work (the first white woman to enter the interior of New Guinea), to a young widow returning to the states in borrowed clothes, weathered by the experiences of the last four years in captivity in a WWII Japanese prison camp. Death was all around her, yet she didn't lose hope. She lost basically everything, yet she gained so much more. Her faith and courage shone more brightly than ever before -- a model and an inspiration for so many. What grace and love she showered into the lives around her.

I wept as I eagerly turned the pages. I thanked God for this dear young woman and all she endured. If she never would have written this book, her miraculous story would have died with her. For me, it is a glimpse of truly abiding in the goodness and grace of our Lord through any circumstance. No one would ever wish for that suffering, yet what a sweet walk with her Savior she found!

"Would you go anywhere with me, no matter what the cost?" was the call on her life she had answered as a young girl.

"I have no regrets," Darlene said. "It was a way to know God in a deeper way. He was always there."

See the Darlene Deibler Rose Web site (watch the short video), or see the 77-minute video on You Tube, recorded in her later years.

Loving Father, let us remember that You walk with us through every trial, giving us the strength we need, if we keep our eyes on You. We don't mourn or suffer like those who have no hope. You are our Hope in every situation.