"rapt" in His love!
Saturday, in the Intensive Care Unit we were given heavy news. Ted's condition had baffled the good doctors and we were given three suspected scenarios of what might be causing the rapid decline in his respiratory system. Treatment for one might conflict with the other diagnoses, making things worse, so guessing would not be an option. The best way to know what is going on would be an open lung biopsy. But because Ted's oxygenation was so low, they feared he would never come off the breathing machine after surgery. This would mean being fed through a tube, and communicating by writing notes, no talking. Maybe for the rest of his life. This was what they prepared us for...
"We're between a rock and a hard place," one doctor said. "You're right on the cusp and we may have to make the decision for you. We can't afford to wait much longer." A second opinion from another doctor concurred.
We looked at each other, overwhelmed. Then we prayed.
"God, you know everything going on inside. We need Your direction. We surrender this to you, because it's way beyond us to figure out. As always, we want to abide in You."
Our pastor and his wife (our friends) were here within minutes to pray with us. Then a steady stream of others shared their wisdom and prayers through visits, emails, voicemails and texts. Another thoughtful doctor from our church stopped in (during his vacation) and share his insights.
A peace was growing as we saw one direction clearly taking shape -- we consented to the surgery.
We talked with each of our kids regarding the surgery that was scheduled for the morning. Each was sobered by the risks involved. Alyssa asked, "How does he feel about all this?" I handed Ted the phone for a few words.
"I have a peace about it." he said.
"How can you have peace with all this ahead of you?" she asked.
He softly said, "It comes from a lifetime of walking with the Lord, being in relationship with Him. I know He is with me every step of the way. He's going with me in the operating room and He knows all. I have nothing to fear."
We truly felt the love of God surround us. The peace that passes all understanding came to us.