When Mom passed suddenly last year, it was quickly evident Dad would need a new solution to the daily care she so lovingly provided. The four of us siblings searched together to find the best assisted living home for Dad. Each day one (or more) of us visits to help him acclimate to his new apartment, work through his grief and reminisce about the earlier days, the days his mind remembers well.
Dementia has stolen so much from him. It saddens, angers and frightens me to see what he and other residents have to deal with daily. How frustrating it would be to not know how to find your own room, how to use a phone or a TV remote, or recall the peers you eat with daily!
It's heartbreaking to hear him say, "Where am I? Do I have to stay here tonight? Where's Mom? You're not coming back until tomorrow? That'll be a long day without you!"
But somehow God has allowed this cruel disease that kills brain cells. God has taken home Dad's wife, caregiver and best friend of 65 years. But I know God is sovereign. His thoughts and ways are so high above ours and I know we'll all be together in Heaven one day. All our lives we are learning to trust God with our whole being. Is this meant to be one final, advanced lesson in trust?
Each day when I come to visit, I see Dad's whole face light up when he sees me. It is the best welcome ever, and is usually enough to draw him out of a sad or confused moment. What a treasure that greeting is each day!
I ask him if he'd like to go outside, and watch freedom come over his face as he walks through the door saying, "Oh, it's so nice out!" We sit and listen to the birds, watch the clouds or jet streams, and occasionally see deer. "This is Heaven on earth," he says without fail. "We have a lot to be thankful for. Thank God for everything."
And I am so endeared to these moments. I realize that no matter what chaos dementia has caused, Dad is able to draw on his deep-rooted faith, his belief in a God who brings peace, order and meaning to life.
We sure don't have all the answers, but we do have a lot to be thankful for.
Sovereign God, I am so thankful for my Dad, for my faith, for your daily provision as we abide in you. I realize that my parents have been teaching me to abide in you for years. And my Dad is still teaching me. Thank you, God, for everything!
