Observations of a new author

Author.

That is a wonderful word to me. Something I've been aspiring to... forever.

Now it's been a week since I held the first real copies of my book in my hands--truly satisfying. Here's some of what I'm feeling and learning:

1. Wow. All those hours behind the computer for two years have produced fruit. It feels good to have poured my soul into this very worthwhile project.
2. The hours writing were so therapeutic.
3. Whenever I didn't know how to proceed, God opened the door to what would be next. After I took the first steps, the momentum carried me. 
4. My fears (which caused me to procrastinate) were unfounded. Abiding is the answer.
5. I wish I'd had the courage to do this earlier, yet I know the timing is right now. It took years to cultivate the skills, live the story and step back for perspective. Honestly, I would not have taken the time away from being with Ted, so when could I have written a book?
6. I've felt new bonding with those I've involved in the project. What great people God has blessed me with.
7. How great it is to connect with people again after spending so much time at a keyboard. I'm going to enjoy the relationships along the way.
8. So many have given heartwarming feedback already and told me how it has helped or changed them. It is truly a treasure to be used by God this way. 
9. I didn't know I worked with so many Christians. This experience has enhanced relationships around me already. 
10. I finally know what I'm supposed to be doing. (More of this. There is confirmation all around.)

Even now as I sit down to reflect and write, "It is Well with My Soul" is playing on my radio. It was one of Ted's favorite hymns (we chose it for his funeral). I know Ted is pleased with this accomplishment. Oh, it certainly is well with my soul, too!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, God, for where you have taken me. I love you with all my heart.

Bursting with Potential

God has given gifts to each of us, waiting to be fanned into flame. It takes effort on our part, and it's key to stay connected to Him to bear fruit.

I believe God looks at each one of us like this bursting milkweed pod. We are filled with potential, and every seed that makes its way to fertile ground can bear fruit. Staying connected to Him brings the nourishment for those seeds.

Abiding in Him is keeping that margin of time, even in the busiest of seasons, to read from His Word, to listen for the way He is speaking into my life. I never want to miss those sweet words!

In 2009 I felt the Holy Spirit impress upon me that I needed to share my thoughts on journaling at the next Women's Breakaway. Public speaker, me? No way! But after I said yes I became very excited and passionate about it! He called and then He equipped.

I never would have imagined that now, seven years later, I will be at the Breakaway again -- sharing my story and the book that I have written! Praise God, this is an incredible dream come true for me. I have always, always wanted to write a book.

I want to give all the glory, honor and praise to God for all He has done. He has brought me here! Click the tab above for more information about my book, Life, Love and Loss.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for giving me a passion and a purpose and giving me everything I've needed as I trusted you step by step. 

Is there something God has been prompting you to do but you have been afraid? I know the feeling, but I'm so glad I trusted God and did the next thing. What unmet potential is living inside of you?

Faithful companionship

My heart was heavy as I left the plush garden island of Kauai to come home. In the land of brown and sticks again, I was relieved to see the snow had melted and the temperatures were unseasonably warm. I hurried home with one thing on my mind.

My little dog Nikki had been sick when I'd left and had only gotten worse, despite more medical interventions. I prayed for her quick recovery, but my daughter reported the poor thing was still struggling to breathe. Then I prayed she'd last until I came home so I could hold her once more. 

Anyone who has loved a dog knows about the difficult decision we were facing. Is she going to recover or am I only prolonging her suffering? But she was 15... by any standard, a good life for a dog. She had been my faithful companion for all these years, as the kids were growing, leaving the house one by one, then as the grandkids were born and the family was becoming larger at each gathering.

Then when Ted passed away, she was my 8-pound sidekick through the loneliest of times, making sure I always had companionship and unconditional love. Whether I was gone all day or only a few minutes, she delivered her happy greeting with the same attentiveness and energy.

Now I was walking around the backyard with her in my arms, telling her how much I appreciated all our times together. I told her she would be going to a special place where she could run and play again, unencumbered by illness. I suggested she find Ted if she could, and that he would certainly relate to the stress of not being able to breathe. 

My tears were falling on her and she sighed some sweet sighs in response. I heard a cardinal singing, "pretty, pretty, pretty." I looked around but could not locate it at first.

Again I heard, "pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty..." I looked up and saw a male cardinal sitting in the tree above, looking down directly on us. It reminded me of how some people say a sighting of a cardinal signifies the presence of a lost loved one. 

I imagined it might be Ted saying, "Sweetheart, let her go. I'll look after her now. She'll be in good hands."

* * *

Nikki has crossed the bridge to a new life, whatever that may be. We are missing her sweet presence but holding onto some dear memories.

P.S. It's more than mere coincidence that I'd been reading Heaven by Randy Alcorn for several months and just recently came upon page 395 discussing whether or not we will see animals in Heaven. Alcorn believes we will:

"Adam, Noah, and Jesus are the three heads of the three Earths. When Adam was created, God surrounded him with animals. When Noah was delivered from the flood, God surrounded him with animals. When Jesus was born, God surrounded him with animals. When Jesus establishes the renewed Earth, with renewed men and women, don't you think he'll surround himself with renewed animals?"

Thank you, God, for all the years we've had Nikki to love. Thank you, especially, that she was my companion these last years without Ted.

Cardinal photo by Mitch Stimpson. Used with permission.

Feeling blessed

Does it get any better than this?

Walking the beach in the morning, reflecting on God's great love. I have even a better taste of what Heaven might be like. 

I feel the warm ocean breezes, hear the sounds of the waves lapping and the morning song of tropical birds.

Flowers are blooming everywhere, even in March. I swam with the bright blue and yellow fish--what a thrill!

My heart is at peace. It is well with my soul.

It is a reminder to me of abiding in Jesus. When we trust Him, He provides all that we need, and so much more. By letting go of my expectations, I have found His better way.

Who am I that He would bless me like this?

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Cor. 2:9) I always thought this verse referred to Heaven. Now I see it also refers to Heaven on earth for those who trust in Him.

Thank you, Lord. I am blessed.

Stepping into a lifelong dream

As I listen for God’s direction in my life, He often stretches me to a point it is not comfortable, but He knows it is for my good.

This happened to me in 2009. As I sat in an audience in Chilton, WI, I felt the prompting to offer myself as a speaker for the next year’s event. Whoa. Me? No way. I’m happy doing the behind-the-scenes work and being able to edit before I make things public. But I sensed a persistence that wasn’t my own, so I knew I was answering the Holy Spirit. As soon as I made the commitment, I felt such peace. (I’ve found that the feelings often come after.)

Then, for several months, I excitedly prepared for that engagement, gleaning all the best I could share with the audience and distilling it down to the right size again. Gleaning and distilling, gleaning and distilling. I lived and breathed for that upcoming presentation. I think I was so excited because it was something I knew I needed to do. Not of my own making, but something God wanted me to do.

Flash forward and I have now done that for several years. And, guess what? That same process of gleaning and distilling is what I recently used to write a book. Yes! I have wanted to almost all my life! God was preparing me and giving me practice and I didn't even know it. By taking that step of obedience then, I was one step closer to accomplishing a lifelong dream.

After Ted went to be with the Lord on May 2, 2013, my unfinished business of writing a book was calling to me. I did the hard work of grief for several months, then I started on the book in June 2014. I made myself a goal of writing at least 50 words a day, every day, so that I could work it into my already-full schedule. They were baby steps, but I was consistently inching forward.

Now, 21 months later, I am thrilled to have a manuscript that will soon become a book! How can I even express how excited and fulfilled I am to be in this place? In the process of writing and learning what to do next, God gave me purpose and brought healing. I began the project weeping and completed it rejoicing!

There have been (and still are) many steps along the way that are intimidating. I have never done this. It’s exciting and scary at the same time, and many excuses and doubts have crossed my mind. But I put aside those fears and step out in faith.

As I look back, I see how God has provided everything I’ve needed, exactly when I’ve needed it. (In fact, that's what the book is about.) Many wonderful people have shared their knowledge and encouraged me along the way. By following Him, one baby step and then another, I’m abiding on the Vine, and He is bringing a huge project to fruition.

I will once again be speaking at the Women’s Breakaway, on April 9, and hope to have the printed books in hand. Zach Westerman (my son) designed the cover.


Thank you, thank you, thank you, dear God! ... for knowing I needed a push, and for knowing everything I've needed along the way. It’s a tremendous blessing to step into a lifelong dream.

Do you have a baby step you know you need to take? 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Full of His glory

This morning, I'm celebrating the glory of the Lord and all He has shown me. 

The heavens, earth and all creation are full of His glory. We can see it if we take a moment to look. Being in the beauty of nature makes that clear.

Who sculpted the hills, the ridges and the valleys? Who filled the lakes and rivers? Who hung the stars? Who painted the clouds so many hues at sunrise? Who told the squirrels to make nests high in the trees? Who made the ducks to swim when the lake is nearly fully frozen?

Lord, I love the house where you live, the place where your glory dwells. Psalm 26:8

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and glory. Psalm 63:2

Ascribe to the Lord glory and strength. Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name. Psalm 96:8.

How are you seeing His glory today? How are you reflecting it?

An invitation to go deeper

Today, missing Ted and needing Jesus, I did an inductive study first thing this morning. Rather than reading a chapter from the Bible, sometimes I concentrate on just a verse or a few. I will make as many observations as I can to extract the truths and better understand what I'm reading. Ted used to remind me to do this before ever consulting any notes or commentary to allow the Holy Spirit to speak directly to me.

Here's an example:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28 NIV

Come – there is action required;

To me -- not just coming forward, but coming to Him.

All – Jesus is not speaking to only a few people.

You – personalized and specific. The reference to “you” and “me” means He wants relationship.

Who are – He is addressing those in a present state, going on now.

Weary – sounds more than a little tired. (Know the feeling?)

And burdened – carrying a load, something heavy maybe, something difficult.

And – the great connecting conjunction… and what? It will connect to or result in something.

I will – it's a sure thing with Jesus; He doesn't say I might.

Give you – not sell to me, not withhold from me, it's a gift with no other terms.

Rest – not money, not just words of encouragement, but the ideal solution for the circumstance. Who better to know what is the ideal solution? And it’s given freely when I come to Him.

We could continue:

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Take – I must be willing to receive.

My – Jesus gives something of Himself.

Yoke – To read from Merriam-Webster added dimension for me. A yoke balances the load.

Upon you -- Jesus wants to be yoked with me so that we can carry the burden together. Being yoked to Jesus through whatever comes is abiding in Him.

And learn from me – If He is the one with the ideal solution, there is a great deal I can learn from Him. Better than having someone “fix” things for me is having someone come alongside as I learn to make improvements.

For I am gentle – as I am yoked with Jesus, I learn about Him. He doesn’t force or threaten, He invites me. I can observe and apply at my pace.

And humble in heart – again Merriam-Webster helps me see it is because He is thinking of me. His actions are coming from the heart. He loves me and wants what is best for me. 

You will find – my action of coming to Jesus means I will discover something that is there waiting for me.

Rest for your souls – an ideal solution not only for my body and mind, but my soul as well. Now that is complete!

For my yoke – Jesus’ structure – could that be as simple as carving time in my day to sit with Him in prayer, reading and reflecting?

Is easy – free from trouble, worry or pain.

And my burden – the burden is still there, but it...

Is light – not heavy, not stressful. I can handle that!

Now I can reread my notes and reflect on the whole. (After doing this on my own, I can really enhance my experience by sharing my findings with a study partner or in a small group.)

What is Jesus, by way of the Holy Spirit, trying to tell me today about God's love?

Lord, I pray that you would help me come to you consistently, regularly and faithfully, with all of my burdens. Let me receive the ideal solutions you want to give. As I learn from you, I will be growing as someone who can better help others who need your rest. Thank you for your loving invitation.

See also: Finding Rest, June 2013, where I reminisced about Ted helping me apply this passage.