Losing a mom feels like losing an arm or a leg, or more. It
feels like losing a whole library of information, like being stripped of your
blankets, like missing all your favorite things, at once. It’s having a hole in
your heart, a gnawing in your stomach and disorientation in your weary brain.
Our mother was an anchor in life’s ocean. She was the serenity
that stilled the waves of anxiety, always pointing us to the One who could walk
on water and calm the sea. Mom saw beauty all around and praised God for it.
She listened to our hopes and dreams, guided us with strong faith and inspired
us to do greater things.
Growing up on a farm was a wonderful life. The four of us
kids learned the value of hard work and teamwork, caring for animals, enjoying
the great outdoors and creating our own adventures. For many years, Mom and Dad
would take us on family vacations between harvesting the first and
second crops of hay. We’d enjoy road trips to see new
sights: lakes, woods, mountains, monuments and waterfalls.
Later, with kids and grandkids living in various states,
we’d take turns planning our family reunion.
Whether tent camping, renting cabins or vacation homes, we made great memories in each setting.
The last few years, with the family farm as our home base, we
helped Mom and Dad with chores. Our gathering expanded from a long weekend to a whole week as we mowed, pruned, weeded, cleaned, painted and made random
repairs. Of course, we had time for bonfires, ice cream outings, visiting the
zoo and other fun. It has been extremely rewarding to work together and enjoy
the camaraderie as in earlier years.
While we kids all feel our loss, Dad feels adrift
in a vast ocean without his anchor. His best friend, caregiver and loving partner
of 65 years is suddenly gone, as is his home of the last 60 years. His
short-term memory is gone. Some days he thinks
Mom will be there to pick him up any minute. Other days, he mournfully remembers she is gone.
But Dad’s faith is strong, and he says almost daily, “We
have a lot to be thankful for. Thank God for everything.”
We talk often about seeing Mom again one day. “Just think of
the delight she has in Heaven…five months already! What do you think she is
doing? Celebrating with her mom, dad, brothers, sisters, Ted and others… Seeing
Jesus and the most beautiful scenery ever… No trouble or tears or pain… Maybe
God has put her to work tending the gardens, feeding the birds or preparing a
feast. Maybe she is singing in the choir.
Just a few days before she passed, I had read to her about Many Crowns – and now she knows! Mom used to talk
about how God prepares a room for each of us in Heaven. She often wondered how there would be
room for all – and now she knows!”
“It is long and hard now to miss her and wait for
Jesus,” I remind Dad. “But every day we are one
step closer to Heaven. Every day we do our best here until He comes back for us. And when He does, what a glorious reunion
it will be! In the blink of an eye we will be with Him face to face! We’ll be having
our family reunion in Heaven, for eternity!”
“Let Heaven fill your thoughts;
don’t spend your time worrying about things down here…Your real life is in Heaven
with Christ and God. And when Christ who is our real life comes back again, you
will shine with Him and share in all His glories.”
– Col. 3:2-4, as underlined in Mom's Bible
