100x/day humility

"What's wrong with us, with our world today, is wrong 100 times a day. It's in ordinary life where we catch this or lose this." 

This is the writing of Thomas Howard (1935-2020), who also references George MacDonald (1824-1905), so you can see, it's been wrong a long time. 

But this message, meaningfully sculpted and masterfully delivered in a podcast (A Counter-Culture of Grace: James 4:1-12) by Dr. Tim Keller, has grabbed me and held on since I heard it a week ago. In fact, it's so good, I've listened to it several times. 

Howard explains there are two ways to live: "My life for yours" or "I am my own/my life for me." He says we have 100 opportunities every day to put others' needs first or to put our own needs first. He says the "My life for yours" principle is the only one on which any life at all is possible, and this is what builds strong and healthy community. I pray this for our divided community!

One of the best ways God teaches us humility is when we become parents. We have to lay down our lives for our children; we sacrifice sleep, convenience, freedoms -- all kinds of things because the baby now needs us. And this requires more from us through the years as they grow. This bond of love causes us to move from our self-focus to others-focus as we shape this new human to also be thoughtful of others.

But somewhere along the way we have become consumed with ourselves, what we need, what we want, how we're accepted, how we're coming across. We have been trained to look for social media affirmations. [These are my thoughts, because Keller crafted his message in 2010.]

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less. "It's not being focused on yourself because inside you are supremely confident of your own worth and that God is taking care of the circumstances in your life," Keller says. "We replace this self-concentration with humility, kindness, graciousness, deference, forgiveness and courage."

Keller does a great job of illustrating how community is created, along with defining in detail the marks of spiritual pride that is a community killer. The way to create a harmonious, live-giving community is to grow in humility. He says we can have this growing humility "to the degree we know these two things: 1) the enormity of God's love for you, and 2) the upside-down principle that's at the heart of the universe (those who humble themselves will be exalted, those who exalt themselves will be humbled, etc.)."

"If you lay down your life for God, for other people, 100 times a day, die to your own power, your own control, you will get your life back forever, safe and sound." He says it's at the heart of the universe and the heart of history because it was modeled first of all by the Trinity. "From the beginning of time the Father, Son and Holy Spirit were glorifying each other, deferring, loving, honoring..."

"Then, in Jesus Christ, we see 'my life for yours,' the ultimate humbling -- He comes to earth, leaving His glory behind to model the way for us. He took the penalty that you and I deserve for saying 'I am my own/my life for me' -- what is that penalty? Cosmic loneliness! On the cross Jesus got that loneliness."

Now, because of what Jesus Christ has done, Keller draws on John 17, where Jesus prays for His disciples and then for all believers... "the Father loves us even as He loves the Son."

"How much does the Father love the Son? That's what you get. That's how God looks at you," he concludes.

Keller says if you try to draw near to God (James 4:6-8), even imperfectly, if you try to humble yourself imperfectly, if you try to resist the devil imperfectly, He gives more grace (v. 6) and He'll draw near to you (v. 8).

This makes so much sense to me, and I can see it better now after doing a media fast recently. I need this, I need more of this, I need to be transformed this way!

This small blog post barely scratches the surface of such an important message, so I hope you will listen to Keller's full podcast (link in title above). 

As James 4:10 says: Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up. 

Lord, I need to learn your upside-down principle from the inside out! Help me become more aware of those 100x/day opportunities. May we fully trust you to take care of the circumstances of life so we can follow your example of putting others before ourselves.

Traveling Well

After three years of pouring my soul onto the pages and rearranging, my hard work has finally emerged as a living book! 

Because traveling has been such a love in my life, I chose a traveling theme. The book starts off with a few travel tips and some fun travel stories, both with my sweetheart and since our last goodbye in 2013.

The theme then continues with traveling through the unexpected twists and turns in life -- because isn't "traveling well" a daily endeavor? We can remember that some of the most beautiful scenery is also the most rugged -- and it can be difficult to navigate those places. It is a challenging but beautiful truth that we grow the most when we are stretched the hardest.

The book is about rebuilding life after loss, facing more significant losses, navigating Dad's dementia, traveling through transitions -- when good things come to an end, traveling through pandemic -- when no one knows the way, and finally, traveling inside ourselves and finding inexplicable peace in walking with God, come what may. It is about growing faith through using it.

My son, Zach Westerman, created the beautiful cover with a shot he took when we visited the Cascades together in September. He used my handwriting as the script font. Please check out the gorgeous website he put together to help get the word out: remaininhim.com. Share it with others who need hope and inspiration through traveling a difficult road in life.

To God be the glory, because He brought me through some very scenic routes thus far, all the while showing His abundant, unfailing love. My hope is for you to experience His extravagant love in your life.

Mindless Media

In the new year, I have challenged myself to look at social media in a new way. 

I had become overly attached to connecting to the world through my digital devices. A good variety of work and events fill my every day, but in the idle moments I was grabbing my phone to check my feeds to see what I was missing. The photos, the feedback, the availability, and ease of use became addictive. Because I live alone, I would turn on the TV in the evening for company. After all, this is the way modern America lives, right?

As the year rolled to 2022, I told myself, "No more mindless media!" I realize these tools and technology have some very useful purposes, and I'm thankful for them, but they don't have to consume my life or make me a slave to them. 

The major difference now is that I will open an app or turn on the TV only if there is a specific purpose in it -- no more mindless scrolling or surfing to pass the time or feel connected. I have consciously cut my usage way back. For example, I don't touch my phone at mealtimes, when waiting in lines, at stoplights... or just because!

It's been nearly three weeks of working to change these habits, and I'm definitely feeling more peace and purpose. I have found so many more meaningful things to do, connected with several friends via phone or visits, and accomplished creative projects I'm happy about.

Faded memories have come back to the free spaces in my mind and I am reliving the gratefulness. I've strung together ideas that surprised me. I am enjoying being in the company of myself! It is like clearing clutter and being pleased with all the new space.

Best of all, I can better enjoy God's presence filling those spaces, by talking to Him in the idle moments, and asking His direction. The words I read in the Bible each morning can recirculate in the open spaces, and new priorities can form. Abiding in Him this way reminds me how I am being available to Him, transformed in His image, and seeking His approvals and affirmations (not the world's). It has been a good move for mind, soul, and spirit.

God, thank you for the gift of modern technology, but help me keep it in its proper place. Thank you for the new playground in my mind.

Ritu Ailani writes, "Mindless scrolling results from a subconscious state of living that lacks purpose and priority." Check out this article: 7 Ways to Cease Mindless Scrolling on Social Media, August 19, 2020.

Influence, with grace

Today I was reminded of the old parable of the blind men and the elephant. As the story goes, some blind men came upon an elephant, a creature they had never before encountered. Each began to describe the elephant from his own point of "view" -- what he felt and experienced. 

The man by the trunk said that an elephant must be like a snake. The man feeling its broad side said that it surely is more like a wall. The third man touched the tusk and thought it seemed like some sort of horn, instrument, or tool. Each thought the others were way off base in their thinking...

In reality, all had a piece of truth, but all were wrong, because no one had the whole truth.

That reminds me of today's world. Some feel very strongly one way and try to share so that everyone can understand. Others feel just as strongly another way, and emotions can run strong. Just as in the story, each of us is a bit right, and a bit wrong. Each of us could learn something from the others.

Collectively we can all contribute, if we share our influence with grace, if we leave room to learn more. But only God sees the BIG picture of how this whole season will shake out and what the answer is to move us forward. 

Lord, I pray we would humble ourselves and look to you for direction, strength, and perseverance. Your thoughts and your ways are so high above ours. I believe you have a plan to bring good out of this. Would you enable us to treat others with kindness and grace? Would you help us to seek your wisdom, to trust your timing, and be open to what you want to teach us?

[Picture is Blind Men Appraising an Elephant by Ohara Donshu, 19th century, public domain as seen in Brooklyn Museum.]

More and less

On the last day of just about every vacation, I ask myself: “What do I need to do more of and what do I need to do less of when I go home?”

It’s a running conversation. Some ideas have been there awhile and are still being worked on. Some are new, influenced by the location, culture, or my travel buddies. I sift and refine a list in my mind each time. This time I have written them down:

I need to do more beach vacations. The sun melts through the fog and the cool breezes blow through my mind to relieve me from the same old thinking. The powerful crashing waves cleanse my soul from the responsibilities and the hurts I have been carrying. The sandy shore sculpted by the rhythm of the waves reminds me how God is shaping me. The myriad shells and diversity of tiny creatures reveal God’s abundant life and individual provisions.

Watching the waves roll in and the sun glistening on the surface brought my distracted thoughts into better perspective. I have been in a productive mode so long, and I know there is more to life than productivity. I sense the Spirit telling me to allow more space for His influence, without planning every minute. In this stage of my life, I can change gears; I am privileged to be free for more of where He leads me…and the possibilities are endless when I am willing. I can spread my wings, open my mind, and pray in new ways for those I care about.

Every good vacation adds new colors to my palette so I can think and create again in a wider spectrum. My confidence and boldness grow as I ponder the ways I can trust God more. I remember the multitude of times He has proven Himself trustworthy throughout many life experiences. I am so very grateful.

I can trust more, worry less; be grateful more, grumble less; be humble more, judge less; speak up more, hold back less.

Joy floods in as I am free to laugh more, and to be less self-conscious. Oh, how great it feels to relax, to let my hair down (“beach hair, don’t care”), to enjoy the little things and hope for big things. It’s freeing to let go of the responsibility of having all the answers, while continuing the quest of pondering important life questions. I’m thankful for lifelong learning and many things yet to explore.

This past week was an exhilarating freedom from a year of careful living in pandemic. I learned it is okay to splurge occasionally, to wear and use my favorite things, not just save them for a special occasion, but to make those special occasions.

I loved that we woke every muscle in our bodies through a variety of exercise: biking, kayaking, aqua stretching, yoga, beach walking, and aerobics. My body still loves to be challenged and my brain still loves to learn.

I am refreshed, thankful, grateful, blessed, yielded, open, and willing.

Where my help comes from

I know where my help comes from… I can call on His mighty name and the powerful presence of God.

He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, He knows every sparrow that falls, He spoke every creature into existence. He knows every stream that flows and every one that is currently frozen. 

He counts the grains of sand on the beach, the drops in a waterfall, and the hairs on our heads. He knows the recipe for seasons, the composition of clouds, the colors in prisms, the language of owls, and the purpose for mosquitos.

He authored all, with purpose. He created every heart, knows how to open them, and has the power to close them. He authored every emotion, knows just how to awaken them, ignite them, and calm them.

He knows every word in every book ever written and every one that will ever be written, every note ever sung and ever to be sung. He knows our potential and every event that will ever come to be. He knows every hidden secret, every problem, and every solution.

Nothing is more powerful than God. He reigns over every government, every ruler, every dominion, and principality. He reigns over every germ and virus and mutation. He is sovereign over every measure of time and all that unfolds within those increments.

He controls every substance, atom, and molecule in existence, every serum, every medicinal herb, every possible chemical combination. He has the power to write our future and heal our past…

Yet, here in the present, we can practice His presence. The God of the universe invites us to abide in Him, to rest, to dwell, to remain in Him. He is our refuge and strength. He draws us with cords of loving kindness, rescues us, sets our feet upon a rock, removes our sins as far as the east is from the west, washes us white as snow, promises to never leave us or forsake us, and encourages us to know how wide and high and long and deep His love is for us.

Why would we look anywhere else for the answers to the complicated questions of the world?

Why wouldn’t we do everything possible to open our hands, our hearts, our minds to Him and welcome Him into every area of our lives? He is our hope. He is our help. He is our comfort. He walks with us through everything we face, and He can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Thank you, God!

  

20 things to learn from 2020

No doubt, this has been a most unusual year! But amidst pain and confusion, sickness and sacrifice, a stronger and wiser spirit emerges. Let this not be wasted, but let us grow from our experiences rather than lock a rough year behind us forever. Here are some observations about what we might learn from 2020:

1. My greatest angst has been my dad's isolation from family as he remains locked down in assisted living. One of the first things I learned was that many things are out of my control! But it led me to realize that I can trust that God is always in control, and He loves Dad even more than I ever could. He is Lord over all and working things out for good, even when we can't see it now.

2. It's been a year to "reset," to strip away idols (i.e., objects of extreme devotion, symbols of worship)... to be without things I thought I couldn't do without. I've found blessings in redefining my security, reprioritizing my time, and repurposing my resources.

3. I am learning to be flexible and adaptable, and to embrace change; to hold plans loosely because things can change overnight.

4. All of us have had to make sacrifices for the sake of the vulnerable. Each of us knows someone vulnerable to motivate that response. We have given up things that were hugely important to us -- but not without purpose.

5. I have sharpened my creativity and been inspired by others... new ways to connect; new patterns, recipes, insights, and inventions; clever celebrations of birthdays, weddings, and holidays... With collaborations of ingenuity happening from around the world, the spirit of resourcefulness is alive and well.

6. I am learning new things to help my health and boost my immune system (and test my discipline). This year has been a good reminder to actually do the things I have been intending.

7. Even in a year with many things taken away, I have an abundance of reasons to be thankful. Gratefulness is an accurate perspective; my glass is more full than it is empty. And I reach out in compassion to those who have needs.

8. I am learning to be more discerning, to check my resources before running with new information. Obviously everything I read, see, and hear can not be true.

9. When things seem confusing and chaotic, there are always good leaders and positive resources to learn from. I am thankful that I can look for them, join them, and help spread their wisdom.

10. Despite all the negatives, I can choose to look for the positives, such as whatever is "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy." (Phil. 4:8) What peace it brings to focus on those things.

11. My heart is heavy with compassion and empathy for those suffering,  grieving, and exhausted. I have cried many tears for those I care about and those working so hard. In the words of Job, "Shall we accept good from God and not trouble? (i.e., Is God only worthy of my devotion when He does things my way?) As difficult as things may be, nothing can separate us from His love.

12. We should not think it strange when we suffer grief in all kinds of trials for it refines our faith (1 Peter 1:6-7); makes us mature and complete (James 1:2-4); produces character and hope (Romans 5:3-4). It is hard... but hang in there.

13. Getting through a global pandemic will require perseverance, an esteemed quality that builds over time under resistance. We have many longsuffering examples in the Bible as inspiration.

14. We were made for something bigger than ourselves. My plans and purposes have changed, but when I redirect my energy to new causes and passions outside of myself, my joy returns amidst the challenges.

15. Evil and injustice seem to thrive for a time, but we can entrust ourselves to the One who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23) i.e., We can forgive and leave the judging to God.

16. When I grumble, I am only adding to the darkness. When I reach out to love others and help find fruitful solutions, I can be shining light.

17. Even if I can't do anything else to help, I can pray. When we pray, we are calling on the Highest Name, the Holy God, the only one who can change the present situation. Whether He chooses to change things, or change us through it, either way we win with prayer.

18. We are diverse creations. We all see things differently and there is much yet to learn. We can look outward and upward, and commit to being patient as we work out the details.

19. We will get through this together. It will take the collective skills and cooperation of many. I pledge to bring my best efforts each day.

20. This will only last for a season -- and with the vaccines, there is light at the end of the tunnel. We can't go back; we can't leap forward. We can only live intentionally in it day by day and learn from it in ways that will glorify God.

Wishing you all the blessings of a quiet, reflective Christmas. May you carry Christ's love and light to make it a refreshing new year.