More Delight. Less Division.

"Love More Delightful Than Wine" was the name of the marriage enrichment seminar I shared yesterday at the Women's Breakaway. (I named it after the deep, committed, passionate love portrayed in the book of Song of Solomon.) I have a passion for helping women make the most of their marriages. I want to see couples find more delight and less division. Let's take just a few tiny sips of that wine today...

A great way to find more delight is to have a "teachable spirit." Are you always ready to learn more?

With all the negative forces around us, I think we need to be sharing encouragement with one another, building strong marriages and keeping delight flourishing. Let me share a few things I've learned, and then I'd love to hear from you, too!

It's not about me. Look around you and see how solid marriages are built up with selfless behavior and others are torn down with self-centered behavior. I have been blessed with a wonderful example watching my mom and dad serve each other and look out for one another's best interests (married 57 happy years and counting). Conversely, haven't we all seen marriages stagger under the weight of "it's all about me" thinking?

Listen to his heart. Remember how you hung on each other's every word when you were dating? Everything he said was important and you replayed the details in your mind when you were away from each other. Let's strive to listen like that again! Listen for the heart, and not necessarily the words chosen. Don't read more into it than what's there; don't run on ahead. Believe that your partner is on your side.

Don't put him in God's place. My husband is wonderful, but he's not God! He can't be everything for me or fix everything for me. I need to be bringing those needs to God. I've found that when I put God first in my life, everything else has a way of coming into the right focus. (Besides, my husband could some day be taken from me, but nothing can ever take God away!)

Gracious God, you've given us the example of perfect love -- it's sacrificial, unconditional, lavish and extraordinary. And it's for eternity. Let us bask in your love today. Please teach us how to love!

There's so much more, but I'll save it for another day. Please feel free to share your words of wisdom on any of the above. What makes your marriage great?

To My Delight

It began with a playful little prayer two weeks ago. Reflecting on good times of the past and wondering where some of those people are now, I asked God if He would connect me with someone I haven't seen in awhile.

Just three days later, I found Patti at the library in the Christian book section. Seven years ago, we had shared our faith and our interest in art, then lost touch. I thanked God for answering my prayer already!

While watching the news that same evening, I was thrilled to see a face I hadn't seen in 30 years! God had answered again, reminding me of a rich friendship, also rooted in our faith. (No, the news is not all negative!)

Then this weekend, I "divinely" bumped into a grade school classmate who had moved away 40 years ago. It was such fun to reminisce about childhood adventures!

My husband asked, "Why do you think God brought these people back in your life?"

"Relationships are important," I answered. I had made a request to my Daddy and He delighted in surprising me. "That's how God is, don't we know? He often answers in abundance!" I dismissed the question, but the sweetness of the answered prayers lingered awhile. He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine... (Ephesians 3:20 NIV).

Then late that evening, I looked to my husband for reassurance as I revisited a heavy situation, a yet unanswered prayer, that was once again consuming my thoughts. For a very long time I have prayed, and God's answer, so far, has been "Wait."

I remembered how God had come through so many times in wonderfully unexpected ways. I tried to stay positive, imagining the day this prayer would be answered too. It has been a painfully long wait -- I never thought I'd be languishing this long. I struggled with the logic on why this wouldn't be God's will now. Would I have to face it that this may never be God's will?

"His way is perfect and His timing is perfect," Ted comforted.

Aha! That is why God answered my little prayer! He wants to reassure me He has heard all my prayers. He can't end the long wait just yet -- I'll have to trust Him with the details -- but perhaps He answered my whimsical prayer to let me know He has been hearing me! He has given me a little something to sustain my hope.

Thank you, God, for your lavish love and great patience with me. Thank you that even one small request was important to you, Almighty God! You know my heart and its deepest desires, and I will trust you -- for however long it may take.