Sunday, April 10, 2011

More Delight. Less Division.

"Love More Delightful Than Wine" was the name of the marriage enrichment seminar I shared yesterday at the Women's Breakaway. (I named it after the deep, committed, passionate love portrayed in the book of Song of Solomon.) I have a passion for helping women make the most of their marriages. I want to see couples find more delight and less division. Let's take just a few tiny sips of that wine today...

A great way to find more delight is to have a "teachable spirit." Are you always ready to learn more?

With all the negative forces around us, I think we need to be sharing encouragement with one another, building strong marriages and keeping delight flourishing. Let me share a few things I've learned, and then I'd love to hear from you, too!

It's not about me. Look around you and see how solid marriages are built up with selfless behavior and others are torn down with self-centered behavior. I have been blessed with a wonderful example watching my mom and dad serve each other and look out for one another's best interests (married 57 happy years and counting). Conversely, haven't we all seen marriages stagger under the weight of "it's all about me" thinking?

Listen to his heart. Remember how you hung on each other's every word when you were dating? Everything he said was important and you replayed the details in your mind when you were away from each other. Let's strive to listen like that again! Listen for the heart, and not necessarily the words chosen. Don't read more into it than what's there; don't run on ahead. Believe that your partner is on your side.

Don't put him in God's place. My husband is wonderful, but he's not God! He can't be everything for me or fix everything for me. I need to be bringing those needs to God. I've found that when I put God first in my life, everything else has a way of coming into the right focus. (Besides, my husband could some day be taken from me, but nothing can ever take God away!)

Gracious God, you've given us the example of perfect love -- it's sacrificial, unconditional, lavish and extraordinary. And it's for eternity. Let us bask in your love today. Please teach us how to love!

There's so much more, but I'll save it for another day. Please feel free to share your words of wisdom on any of the above. What makes your marriage great?


  1. Hi Marilyn,
    I was in your seminar Saturday. I was a bit discouraged because my husband is now disabled and we have had a hard time adjusting to the 24/7 togetherness. Your class gave me hope. I went to the book store in the gym and got "Love and Respect" and wow, some of my and my husband's exact words of recently were quoted in that book. A huge light bulb went on. We started reading it together last night. thanks so much! I also wanted to share with you the link to my blog. The devotional started on 1/1/11 so if you want to get the full effect you need to go back 100 posts but it will always be available so you can go at any pace.
    Thanks again,

  2. Oh I also have a website where I share some of my art and the book I wrote of what God has done for me. My life story twisted into a novel. That link is
    thanks for your time and for giving my marriage new hope.

  3. I wanted you to know that I recommended the book "Love and Respect" to my 22 year old dd and her husband of 6 months. They learned so much they are sharing it with all their friends. The cool part is they have not been walking in the personal relationship each of them made with Christ when they were children and yet they liked the book full of practical actions, scriptures and Godly principles. Thanks again for sharing about the book at the conference.

  4. Catherine,thanks for the great update! So glad to hear the book has been helpful. Keep passing it on and encouraging others. The more happy marriages, the merrier!